BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
RODERICK AND ARLENE HENDERSON
Live: Alabaster
Married: Aug. 18, 2001. Remarried, Aug. 18, 2016
Met: February 1997, in Montgomery, at Roderick’s father’s nightclub called ‘The Underground’. Roderick was working as a bartender when Arlene walked in with a mutual friend of theirs who told him Arlene was interested in who he was.
“The club had kinda slowed down and they came and sat at the bar, and I went to the end of the bar where Arlene was sitting and started talking to her,” Roderick said. “Come to find out that we knew a lot of the same people but had never bumped into each other and at the end of the night I got her number.”
Arlene does not remember telling their friend that she was interested in Roderick. “I went to the restroom and when I came back he was looking at me, and I was wondering what that was about. Then he came down there and started talking to me, and it turns out [we did have commonalities], but [our mutual friend] played matchmaker] on her own. I did not ask her to, but we are both glad that she did,” said Arlene.
First date: The following weekend, which happened to be Valentine’s Day weekend. Arlene and Roderick went to see a movie at a theater in Montgomery that they can’t recall. But Arlene does remember that “Roderick brought his two cousins with him on our first date,” she laughed. “I don’t think we went out to dinner after that either… and I paid for the movie; I think I paid for everybody.”
Roderick begs to differ, “how does that look?” he asked Arlene.
Arlene responded, “that’s how I remember it. And afterwards, I went home, and he and his cousins went home, but at the time, Mr. Roderick was dating several other ladies. So who knows? He probably went on to his next date after me,” she laughed. “And now that I’m thinking about it, that’s probably why he brought his cousins with him to [use them as a buffer] in case he ran into any of his other ladies while we were at the movies.”
“It’s been so long I don’t remember, so I’m gonna let her have it,” Roderick said.
The turn: “I knew I started falling for Arlene when I stopped messing around and started being exclusive,” Roderick said. “I started putting everybody off and was focused on her and that made me realize this was the one right here. That was probably two months into meeting each other.”
For Arlene, “I was always out and about with my friends and I wasn’t really looking for a relationship, but [Roderick and I] started doing everything together and hanging out all the time and it was just a progression that happened organically. One day I looked up and realized ‘ok, this is my dude’,” she said.
The couple dated for four years before Roderick proposed.
The proposal: Summer 2000. Roderick proposed to Arlene in an impromptu manner while cruising the Eastdale Mall in Montgomery.
“We were in the mall and we just so happened to stop in a jewelry store and I was looking at rings and said, ‘ooh, I like that one’, and he said, ‘You like that one? Give her that one’ and I said, ‘what does this mean?’ Arlene said. “And he said, ‘it means we getting married’,” she laughed. “It was not traditional it was very unromantic. Roderick has never been romantic; he has always been straight forward and to the point. When he makes up his mind to do something he just does it.”
“We had been discussing getting married. We were living together and we always said we’d live together for a year before we got married. And it was coming up on a year, so I knew what time it was. So, when she said, ‘she liked that ring’ I was like ‘bet, let’s lock it down’,” Roderick remembered. But in hindsight, “I hate I did it like that and that I wasn’t more romantic and traditional.”
The wedding: In Tallassee, Alabama, at Arlene’s home church, Rehoboth Baptist Church, [near Montgomery], officiated by Rev Kenneth L. Bozeman. Their colors were mauve, pink, and cream.
Most memorable for the bride was watching her groom become teary eyed at the sight of her. “Aside from Roderick cutting up at the reception, it was when they opened the doors to the sanctuary and he saw me for the first time and he had tears in his eyes. That was so beautiful to me, and it let me know that we were going to be ok, and that I had found my soulmate,” Arlene remembered.
Most memorable for the groom was becoming so intoxicated he had to be carried up to his and his bride’s apartment. “ … I’m not a drinker. So, we’re at the reception, and [our mutual friend] was the bartender, you know, the one that put us together. And by me not being a drinker it’s easy for me to get drunk. And I’m just drinking, and before I knew it, it just hit me, bam, I’m drunk,” Roderick said. “And I was just walking around telling everybody I loved them and asking them if they loved me back. And Arlene had to drive us home, and my cousins had to follow us home because they had get me up the stairs to our apartment. And when I woke up the next day, I didn’t remember none of it. I had never been that drunk in my life and I’ve never been that drunk again since then. That hangover was so bad, and everybody was calling trying to check on me and tell me stories and I didn’t want to hear none of it,” Roderick said.
They honeymooned in Atlanta and went to Six Flags over Georgia, restaurants, and then Biloxi, Mississippi, and went to the casinos. “He tricked me into getting on a roller coaster and I was biting him the whole ride,” Arlene laughed.
The detour: The couple said the trials and turbulence of life pulled them apart over the course of their seven-year marriage. “We had a child before our first anniversary [in 2002], my dad passed away the following year [2003], and Roderick also got deployed in 2003. We were a young couple who had just gotten married, and it felt like we were thrown together and then pulled apart,” Arlene said.
“We didn’t have a model for marriage to structure ours after… and then we found out our daughter had some health issues that took precedence over the health of our marriage,” Roderick said.
Arlene and Roderick divorced in 2008, but reconnected three years later. Arlene said she was moved to reach out to her ex-husband after a nudge from a sermon in church.
“Bishop [Vanable H. Moody II][of the Worship Center Christian Church] said ‘divorce does not mean final’ and I sat with that for two weeks and pondered on it and finally called him and told him that the Lord is telling me that he is my husband and that we need to try again. He was actually seeing someone and he said he wanted to see where things went. I was disappointed, but I left it alone and told God that I had done what he told me to do,” Arlene said.
A week later, Roderick called and said, ‘I’m coming home’, and the pair began dating again. Roderick was living in Montgomery at the time, and Arlene was living in Hoover. He would “come home” on the weekends when he would visit with their daughter, who was primarily living with him at the time in Montgomery.
“We dated for some time before we got back together. I told him he would have to date me again, we were not just going to get back together. We had both changed and we needed to make sure we liked the new people that we were,’ Arlene said.
In 2015, he relocated back to Birmingham, they purchased a home, and re-wed on their original anniversary, August 18 in 2016, at the Birmingham courthouse.
Words of wisdom: “Putting God first in our marriage the second time and being able to grow together in God’s word and [learning] about the ups and downs in marriage. Bishop Moody really teaches us about the ins and outs. And it’s being in a church with other couple friends that can pray with us and cover us when times are hard and be of good counsel, all of that is important,” Arlene said.
“I had to learn to share more,” Roderick said. “At first, we didn’t have a joint account, so I learned to share more and be quiet. Some things don’t have to be addressed,” Roderick said. “And definitely learning to put God first and going to church and reading the word together. Those were things we didn’t do the first time around.”
Happily ever after: The Henderson’s attend the Worship Center Christian Church at the Derby Campus, where Arlene serves on the Ministry Leadership and Online Campus teams, and Roderick on the Technical Arts Media team. They have one daughter, Ariel, 22.
Arlene, 49, is a Montgomery native, and Wetumpka High School grad. She attended Troy University where she studied psychology and is currently completing her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Troy University’s online campus. Arlene works as an administrative assistant with Viva Healthcare in Birmingham.
Roderick, 49, is a Montgomery native, and Robert E. Lee High School grad. He is a U.S. Army Veteran, and worked in the 781st Transportation unit, where he served 8 years. He then re-enlisted into the US National Guard where he served in Iraq. Roderick has worked for Hyundai Motor Manufacturing Automotive, as a team member in the engine shop for the last 20 years.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
Updated on 4/16/2025 at 2:47 p.m. to reflect that the couple divorced in 2008 and reconnected, not remarried, three years later.
