BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
SANDRA & JAMES WILKERSON
Live: Pleasant Grove
Married: May 15, 1993
Met: April 14, 1991, in Quantico, Virginia, at a career level school while serving in the United States Marine Corps. “We were both on active duty in leadership school that was required in order to be promoted to a higher rank,” said Sandra. “And the first Monday morning we had to have on our uniform and be outside in formation at 6:30. And out of 100 [marines in the leadership school], only eight of us were women. We got out there and we’re all standing in formation waiting for the Gunnery Sergeant to come and tell us what to do.”
The Gunnery Sergeant split them into two platoons and told them to begin the march. In Sandra’s platoon, the men were slow to take the lead, so the sergeant challenged someone to step up, and Sandra jumped into position and started leading the second platoon to the school and “calling cadences.” This is when she caught James’ eye.
“I was overtaken by her beauty and I actually said out loud— ‘I’m going to marry her, she’s going to be my wife’— and two of her girlfriends who were marching in my platoon and heard me, and once we made it to the school, they told Sandra what they’d overheard,” James said. “ … at some point [over the course of 6 weeks] we got comfortable with one another and it led to us finally having a conversation. It was fruitful. Some days we were in the same class and some days we weren’t. And on those days [that we weren’t … I used to speed the clock waiting for the end of the day because the next day meant I would get to see her again,” he said.
At the end of the six weeks, the two went on their first date right before graduation and before returning to their duty stations: James, to Lexington Park, Maryland, and Sandra, to Norfolk, Virginia.
First date: Golden Corral, in Quantico, Virginia. “We were casually dressed, and we rode together to the restaurant in my car. And we talked about the things that we enjoyed about the Marine Corps being committed, professional Marines, our retirement plans, and making sure we were hitting all the milestones so that when we did retire, we’d be financially stable,” James said.
“And then the conversation turned to what he was looking for: are you ready to settle down, are you looking for a long-term relationship? We were both in our late 20’s, and I wasn’t looking to settle down at the moment, I was furthering my education, dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s…,” Sandra said, “and since my job in the Marine Corp was military police, I was always guarded and conscious about the caliber of people I was around. They were a three-hour drive apart, and alternated weekends going to see one another at their respective stations.
The turn: James’ orders would soon take him to California, while Sandra remained in Virginia. But in 1992, Sandra was sent to Anniston, Alabama, for another training “and that’s when I fell in love with Bessemer,” said Sandra, a North Carolina native.
After finding out about Sandra’s Anniston duties, James asked her to meet his mother — who lived in Bessemer — and Sandra agreed, visited Mrs. Jennie Wilkerson, and the visit cemented the relationship between James and Sandra.
The proposal: November 1992, while Sandra visited James during the Thanksgiving holiday in San Clemente, California, where he was stationed. James noted that prior to his proposal, he had flown to Charlotte to ask her mother, Lorraine Love, for her hand in marriage, in the absence of her father, the late KW Love.
“We were getting ready to go have dinner at TGI Fridays, and Sandra went in the back to touch up her makeup, and when she returned to the living room, I approached her, got down on one knee and presented her with the ring that I had custom made for her and asked her to marry me,” James said. “I gave a lengthy speech, but I stated that my life had never been more exciting than it had been since the moment I laid eyes on her, and it would be an honor to spend the rest of my life with her. And of course, I ended it with ‘would you marry me?’, and of course, I got a ‘yes’, and a kiss,” he laughed.
“I was overwhelmed,” said Sandra, “it was unexpected. I saw his lips moving but I couldn’t hear anything coming out of his mouth. The ring was big and sparkling, it was a 2-karat diamond ring, and I told myself that when his lips stop moving just say ‘yes’ so you can get this ring on your finger, and that’s exactly what I did,” she laughed.
The wedding: In Vista, California, at The Little Chapel of Light. “We were having our home in California built and opted not to have an expensive wedding and instead put the money into the house. James had a cousin, James Cook III, who was also in the Marine Corps and stationed out there with us, and he and his wife, Martha were our only witnesses,” Sandra recalled. “I didn’t have on a gown, I had on a blue and white jumpsuit, and James wore blue slacks, and a white long-sleeved shirt. After that, we treated them to some Red Lobster, and it was a wrap,” Sandra said.
Most memorable for the bride was sharing a meal with their cousins after their nuptials. “Treating our cousins to Red Lobster to thank them for being there with us and telling them how much it meant to have some biological family there to share that moment with us made it so special, and that was perfect for me,” Sandra said.
Most memorable for the groom: “After we departed, we went to our home, which was under construction, and we crossed the threshold as husband and wife. We walked about the house holding hands and sharing a conversation about how blessed we were to be in this union and for God allowing us to share this life together. It was a moment of reflection, thanksgiving, gratitude, and feeling so blessed to start our family in California,” said James.
The couple settled in California at Camp Pendleton and raised their two sons until their retirement from the military in 2003. Throughout their military careers, both James and Sandra had deployments that took them separately to several countries.
Asked about their honeymoon, Sandra said — “No honeymoon then, but that’s why we honeymoon so much now.” They’ve been to Greece, Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, the Dominican Republic, Panama, Costa Rica, Colombia, Hawaii, and more. “And we’re headed to Dubai next month in April. We also enjoy a lot of statewide travel, we love the NBA and we like to travel for games…,” Sandra said.
Words of wisdom: “Don’t take yourself too seriously, every issue cannot be an issue. Choose your battles wisely and at the end of the day look your mate in the eye and know in your heart that you’re in it together and you’re in it to win it,” Sandra said.
“Never stop dating. Always reflect upon the moment you guys met and the things that brought you joy in the beginning; they are the things that will sustain you over the long haul. Be cognizant of the things important to your spouse: birthdays, anniversaries, favorite meals, movies, etc. And as Sandra said, ‘don’t take life too seriously,’ but find time in your relationship for spiritual enrichment, James said.
Happily ever after: The Wilkerson’s moved to Birmingham from Columbia, South Carolina after retiring from the Department of Veteran Affairs in 2018 and 2019, had their retirement home built in Pleasant Grove and took residence in January 2020. They attend Mount Sinai Missionary Baptist Church in Bessemer, where James serves a Deacon, a member of the security team, teaches adult Sunday school, and sings in the male chorus. Sandra is a Deaconess, and serves on the missionary, hospitality, and security team. They have two adult sons, James and Steven, and four grandchildren.
Sandra, 62, is a Charlotte, North Carolina native, and attended The University of Phoenix where she earned a bachelor’s degree in business management, Central Michigan University, where she obtained a master’s degree in education, and Webster University, where she received a master’s degree in human resource management. She retired from active duty with the United States Marine Corp in 2003, as a First Sergeant, after 20 years of service. Sandra then retired from the Department of Veteran Affairs in 2019, as a supervisor at the National Call Center, and now enjoys a life of leisure and travel.
James, 64, is a Bessemer native, and McAdory High School grad. He attended The University of Phoenix, where he earned a bachelor’s degree in business management, Central Michigan University where he obtained a master’s degree in education, and Webster University, where he received a master’s degree in human resource management.
“We completed our second master’s degree together and took all the same courses and shared one book,” James added. James is a 33rd degree Mason and retired from active duty with the United States Marine Corp in 2003, as a First Sergeant after 22 years and 9 months of service. He then retired from the Department of Veteran Affairs in 2018, as a supervisor from the accounting department of the fiduciary hub. James is currently running for City Council government in Pleasant Grove.
Also, the couple hosts a marriage group of six couples from different states that they do life with. Last year, the Wilkerson’s hosted a marriage retreat for their marriage group in their home, converting all of their guest bedrooms into “honeymoon suites”, and had a weekend of planned activities that included a group vow renewal performed by their pastor, Pastor Angelo Hines Sr. of Mount Sinai Missionary Baptist Church in Bessemer.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
