By Je’Don Holloway-Talley | For The Birmingham Times
As the nation marks National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Tina Thornton, founder and director of SOLE Recovery LLC (Survivors Overcoming Life Experiences), wants a focus on Black women who face disproportionate rates of intimate partner violence (IPV), according to national data.
The mother of three knows what it’s like to be in a violent relationship. She tried numerous times to leave a 22-year marriage. “I couldn’t even use the phone in my home, my ex-husband had removed all of them… and my family was not a place where I felt like I could share what I was experiencing; they had no clue of anything I had encountered,” she said.
That led Thornton to establish her group in 2003 which began as a small unofficial ministry, allowing a group of women to come together and share their stories in in a local hospital event room. SOLE’s faith-based, holistic approach to healing allows individuals to resolve their problems or find refuge, she has said. “There’s a lot of self-reflection to encourage them to step beyond what they’ve been told or what they believe.”
According to national data, 45.1 percent of Black women will experience physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by an intimate partner. Between the ages of 18 and 35, they are at their most vulnerable and are 2.5 times more likely to be killed by men than White women, with 92 percent of those Black women knowing their killer.
Building a Support System for Survivors
SOLE’s work has caught the attention of community leaders, including Jefferson County Commissioner Sheila Tyson, who has supported the group since its inception. “The work that I have done with SOLE Recovery has been on a community level … I have been doing volunteer services with Tina Thornton [since 2004], recruiting different places for them to have meetings,” Tyson said.
Since being elected to the commission in 2018, Tyson said she has received numerous calls from residents in her district about domestic violence.
“We’ve had several incidents where a female and her children needed help, like one case where the victim needed to be in a hidden shelter where the husband couldn’t find them and SOLE Recovery found somewhere for her to live,” Tyson said. “[Whenever] we get calls for referrals where women are needing help we call [SOLE Recovery].”
Tyson said she saw friends mask the pain of violence in the home as children and now that she is in a position to provide resources to help, she will.
“I saw it every day growing up. Not from my parents… but my peers who I grew up with,” Tyson said. “We grew up around it, but it was a secret you kept in your home. I knew it was wrong, but there was nothing I could do about it. And now that I’m an adult and I can address some of the issues and get them some support and help, I’m willing to do that.”
Ministry
In addition to being a support system, SOLE serves as a ministry. Thornton’s background includes a bachelor’s degree in human services and psychology from Upper Iowa University, and she is currently pursuing a master’s in counseling.
For women in need of housing, SOLE partners with One Roof, an initiative focused on ending homelessness in central Alabama and works closely with the YWCA and The Salvation Army to provide emergency shelter, clothing, and essential items. “We also use the Grace Klein Food Bank and have developed relationships with the Birmingham Police Department to expedite emergency housing resources when necessary,” Thornton said. In addition, SOLE Recovery helps survivors obtain bus passes to assist with transportation.
One of Thornton’s biggest challenges, she said, is helping women overcome the mental and emotional barriers that keep them tied to abusive relationships, often rooted in generational trauma from witnessing or experiencing domestic violence. These patterns can be hard to break without support.
“Women can be in denial about their circumstances and believe that their focus should be on saving the man and giving him the tools to change,” Thornton said. “They’re thinking that they can build a man like Build-a-Bear. Women don’t understand the underlying dynamics of DV and how it’s tied into something [they’ve experienced] and how it fosters the narrative, subconsciously, for them to be a part of the same. I encourage them to understand their true identity is not found in a man but in God,” Thornton said.
Thornton highlights the importance of recognizing the signs of domestic violence. “From an observational standpoint, be aware of people who are withdrawn, isolated from close friends and family, and only seen when in the presence of their partner…,” she said. “If someone is constantly being monitored, if their appearance or how they speak drastically changes, or if they seem fearful, those are quick indicators of abuse.”
Thornton also advised the community to be alert for behaviors that may signal a potential perpetrator.
“If someone is always criticizing what you wear, or objecting to non-offensive language that they find offensive, that’s a red flag,” she said. “Someone who’s overly jealous, constantly telling you who not to trust, trying to control your money, or even take possession of it. And if they dominate you sexually against your will, those are clear signs of a perpetrator. Also, if he’s a quick romancer and rushing you into a relationship, that’s a red flag too.”
Survivors Overcoming Life Experiences (SOLE) Recovery is currently on Facebook, and people can reach out to the Facebook page to inquire about their services. Tina Thornton can be reached at sole.tinathornton@gmail.com.
Resources & support for anyone in the U.S. affected by intimate partner violence 24/7/365. 1-800-799-7233. Chat at thehotline.org | Text “START” to 88788.
