By Angela Moore
Marriage, marriage, marriage. Gotta love it, even after you’ve lost it. Marriage is one of those things ordained by God, but often messed up by man.
I remember vividly preparing for my first wedding more than a decade ago. (Yes, I did say first as I declare that divorce isn’t my final destination.) I recall meeting with florists, vendors, caterers, bridesmaids and the likes. I remember the excitement about the wedding, and not much focus the marriage. The wedding was one I’ll never forget. One of my regrets through my divorce was thinking of how my parents must have felt having invested so much money in a grand affair. I remember walking down the aisle smiling. I recall songs “tearing down the house.” I remember the ministers praying and declaring blessings. I remember the rings and I remember the doves released to the air in a beautiful swirl of white wings flapping.
All of the above is well and good if marriage came with a trouble-free guarantee. It doesn’t! I’ve learned in retrospect that by design, marriages are key targets for the enemy to fire his best shot. Afterall, he’s jealous, and can never have what’s been promised to man! But marriage takes more than a ring and a prayer. It takes work from the beginning, in the middle and until the end, regardless of the outcome.
Aside from the spiritual mandates, physical connection, and honoring of God’s united purpose marriage takes:
· Two people committed to God first.
· Two people committed to each other.
· Two people with hopes, dreams and goals that don’t have to match, but certainly have to mesh well together.
· Two people who love each other even when they don’t like each other’s actions.
· Two people who respect and support each other’s specific role in the marriage.
· Two people willing to submit to growth and change for the greater good of the union.
· Two people who are aware of, and accept that marriage is really not about the wedding.
· Spiritual counseling prior to the marriage (my first husband and I didn’t have this, even though he was a minister. Yikes!)
· Spiritual counseling and encouragement after the “honeymoon” has ended.
· Spiritual counseling throughout the marriage to prevent trials, and certainly when trouble has entered the house.
· A strong network of mature, godly supporters (not the “Girl, If I ‘was’ you I would” group, or “Man, you need to” crew.)
· Individual lives (friends, family, circles of influence) that support the marriage and don’t suffocate it.
· A healthy, committed way to openly communicate things that are pleasant, and not so pleasant, especially when it’s not so pleasant.
· Scheduled family prayer time.
· Scheduled time to discuss and handle family business
· Scheduled fun time.
· Spontaneous “FUN” time. (If you know what I mean.:)
Angela Scott Moore has sported many hats in her lifetime. She’s a former broadcast anchor/reporter/producer, a trained motivational speaker, fundraiser and marketing/PR expert. She spent nine years as a pastor’s wife working in full-time ministry before than union ended in divorce. A majority of her time in ministry was spent empowering women and girls. She’s an avid inspirational blogger and also a philanthropic community supporter who has served with more than 25 local and national organizations over her 15+ year professional career. Currently she’s working in the fields of Social Justice and Human Resources and operates the blossoming, full-service events planning venture Amazing Kreations with her business partner, offering media and event planning assistance at low or no cost to small organizations and businesses. Taking lessons learned from each phase of her ever-evolving life, Angela’s now donning the hat of a single woman on a single mission to use spoken and written words to motivate others to “thrive while they survive.”
Contact Angela Scott Moore about speaking engagements at amazingkreations2@gmail.com, follow her blog at www.angelamooreblog.wordpress.com, on twitter at @AngelaMMoore316 or check out her facebook page for people experiencing separation or divorce at I’m More Than What Happened.
