Last week, some friends and I met up at Railroad Park and while we were resting one friend began telling us about a retired neighbor friend who was caring for his ailing wife. At this point, she has a mobility problem and can barely walk, or use her limbs. She uses the support of a wheel chair when they now rarely go out of the home. Further, their bedroom in which she must spend most of her day is upstairs in the home. The husband has to assist her negotiating the staircase coming downstairs. She can barely hold the telephone to her ear, needs assistance while eating, general care in the bathroom, and getting dressed.
What was a real concern of the friend is the fact that both neighbors have been retired for some years and are now in their early seventies category of age. He said both have pensions, Medicare, savings, and the home is paid in full. However, with this security they are reluctant to use any of their resources to bring a degree of comfort to the wife‘s medical situation, or relief to the husband as caretaker.
Further, he says one factor in his neighbor’s hesitation is that their two adult married children often seek their financial help. He said a few years ago, the wife told him about the possibility to sale their home in order to help a daughter and husband purchase a home in Connecticut where they live. The group began to give comment upon the overall situation.
The following available healthcare services were related such as: the purchase of a staircase lift; motorized wheel chair, a voice activated telephone speaker; home visiting nurse; therapist; Meals on Wheels; in home hair stylist; nurse’s aide; sitter/cook, house cleaning service, etc. At a doctor’s request some services are covered for a period under medical care programs. Finally, there is the nursing home for a temporary stay or final residence.
We talked in general about the need for both of them to be comfortable and enjoy the best quality of life possible in their senior years. The matter of their pensions and retirement monies set aside for senior living was of big concern in our conversation.
One friend rebuked the idea of saving retirement resources for grown children, and not spending it as the need arises for ones’ own comfort and quality of life after retirement. Another added that after parents rear children to adulthood, and possibly have financed their college education, as well, that should be the limit of their duty and responsibility. Another said parents may remember their children in their ‘Last Will and Testament’. If all resources have been used-up for parents’ care and comfort that is the intent and purpose of retirement programs and savings. It should not be reserved for grown children, friends and relatives. At least this is what our group of retirees concluded.
Heager L. Hill, DHL
Birmingham, AL. 35209
