By Keisa Sharpe-Jefferson
Whenever you’re confronted with shocking, unexpected or disappointing news, what’s your automatic response? Do you feel compelled to respond immediately or are you more inclined to wait for proper timing and an appropriate reaction?
Most of us know that the correct answer is the latter, but how many times do we actually do the right thing?
I’m here to say not every situation deserves your immediate response. Sometimes, it’s best to marinate on the situation before giving it or them “a piece of your mind.” Here are a few reasons that I’ve learned to be slow to speak.
First of all, our first response is often our most impulsive and, at times, is most subject to being incorrect because we have limited information. I have often struggled in this area.
One of my gifts is that I’m quick-witted and verbally can come off the cuff really quickly. In social settings and with conversations with friends, it’s a tremendous asset. But, when my temper flares, you can see how it could easily go south as far as my mouth was concerned. But now that I’m over 50, wisdom has finally set in and although not perfect, I have certainly seen growth in this arena. I’m much more inclined to, even in tough situations, think through before giving a response or confronting a matter.
The second reason I’ve learned to speak slowly is I’d rather give a calm, right response rather than an emotionally-charged incorrect one. With this one not only is your message or concern more apt to be heard, but you can also hear from the person on the opposite end.
Boy are we challenged with this one because once we have a line of thought about something, we normally don’t want to hear anything opposing it. But I’ll stress this one because this step normally gives the most opportunity for relationship-building with another.
And third, there’s the added benefit of personal growth. Giving a heated response or being triggered by what another person says or does really says more about you than it does them. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times: Maturity is an absolutely beautiful thing for those who wear it.
Be mature and be open to growth in terms of homing in your skills regarding right responses to people.
As always, know I’m cheering for you and no matter how challenging, you can win in this arena.
Keisa Sharpe-Jefferson is a life coach, author and speaker. Her column appears each month online and in The Birmingham Times. You can contact Keisa at keisasharpe@yahoo.com.
